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Creating Healthy Boundaries

Set boundaries

In order to set healthy boundaries, you first need to figure out what those boundaries are. What do you want and not want from a relationship? How much free time do you have for friends or family? Where is your work-life balance sweet spot at the moment? It's OK if it changes day by day!

I'm a big believer in the power of setting boundaries. You can't control other people, but you can always control yourself and your reactions to them. Setting boundaries is a way to protect yourself from being taken advantage of or letting others walk all over you. It's also a  way to maintain healthy relationships with family and friends while still keeping your own space separate from theirs. The more clear you are about what works for you, the easier it will be to communicate that clearly with those around you!

It's important to understand that healthy boundaries have a lot to do with self-care. The more you take care of yourself, the healthier your boundaries will be! You'll find it much easier to say no when someone asks for something from you if you're in a good space and feeling healthy and balanced.

Self-care is so important for women entrepreneurs. You are your most important client, and that means you need to take good care of yourself and set healthy boundaries.

In healthy relationships,  boundaries are important. When you have healthy boundaries, your needs and wants are respected by those around you. Healthy boundaries help you communicate with others in a healthy way.

When healthy boundaries exist, both parties feel safe and secure . Each person knows that they can rely on the other to meet their needs and desires in a responsible manner. Respectful interactions take place through healthy boundaries. And if something goes wrong, both parties have an understanding of how the other will try to resolve the conflict or miscommunication.

This is not always true when unhealthy boundaries are present or when no boundary has been set between two people who should know better than to mix personal lives with business lives - e.g., employer-employee, teacher -student, doctor-patient, etc.  When healthy boundaries are not present in these interactions, interaction can be awkward at best and unethical or even illegal at worst.

As a professional who works with people on healthy boundaries, I have found seven tips that help create healthy boundaries. Healthy boundaries can be created in all relationships when you find healthy ways to communicate your feelings about what is okay and what isn't okay when it comes to the other person's behaviour towards you.

1) You must address any poor boundary setting head on  and talk about why the boundary was violated in order for them to learn  how their behaviour affects you . If you don't do this part of healthy boundary setting, they will continue to violate your boundaries.

2) Don't attack, blame or make accusations  when addressing a healthy boundary violation. When healthy boundaries are violated, it is better to be accountable and responsible for your feelings, without blaming the other person. Blaming keeps them from taking responsibility. Blaming can also put you on the defensive which makes healthy boundary setting more difficult because they will not want to listen if they feel as though their actions have been judged as bad by you or others. In healthy relationships , healthy boundaries create open communication that helps both of you understand one another better- which leads to healthy choices about what behaviours are preferable in those relationships .

3) Make sure healthy boundaries do not equal abandonment . This is a common myth when it comes to healthy boundaries. People often worry that healthy boundaries will result in the other person walking away from them. This is not healthy boundary setting . Healthy boundaries allow you to have a healthy relationship with someone, even if it means they need some time away from you to process their feelings and how your behaviour affects them.

4) In healthy relationships , both parties feel safe and secure  which creates healthy boundaries between people who care about one another. When there are unhealthy levels of insecurity between two people, healthy boundaries do not exist.

5) Be willing to set healthy boundaries  in all relationships and areas of your life: with friends, family, co-workers and even strangers on the bus. This will give you a healthy platform for healthy relationships . If healthy boundaries don't exist in these types of interpersonal situations, healthy relationships , healthy communication and healthy conflict resolution are much more difficult to create.

6) Keep healthy boundaries  between yourself and others when you feel like you need some time away from them in order for you both to cool off. When unhealthy boundaries are violated or when no boundary exists between two people, emotional abuse can happen. Emotional abusers avoid taking responsibility for their actions. People who come from families where healthy emotional expression was forbidden (or where emotions were used against them by a parent or even a sibling) often find healthy boundaries difficult.

7) If healthy boundaries are violated  in a relationship, address it right away and work through ways to resolve conflict about healthy boundary setting . This will make the healthy relationship stronger. Relationships with healthy boundaries offer both parties security that they can be vulnerable but not run over by the other party. Neither person in a healthy relationship chooses not to set healthy boundaries because of fear that their partner might leave them. In fact, people who have been emotionally abused often become comfortable with healthy boundary setting because they realize that keeping someone around who treats them badly isn't worth having in their life: and they learn how to enforce those healthy boundaries so as not to let anyone treat them badly ever again.

Need help with setting healthy boundaries? CLICK HERE to schedule your free, no obligation to see if working together is a good fit!


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