November 23

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Dealing with hard times

I have had many opportunities in my lifetime to learn about dealing with hard times. As I write this, I’m hearing the song “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” in my internal jukebox! Yes, we can certainly grow and learn about dealing with hard times. I follow the Zen proverb “Fall down seven times, get up eight.”

I know it’s hard. Thanksgiving has always been my favorite holiday. A holiday without the pressures of gift giving, a day without pressure in general. Simply getting together, sharing favorite foods, traditions, laughter and gratitude. I would spend weeks shopping, prepping and cooking – making sure each person had one of their favorite dishes.

Back in March, who could have ever imagined that COVID-19 would still be wreaking havoc on our Thanksgiving traditions?

For the first time in our 36 years together, my husband and I will be alone for Thanksgiving, It is incredibly sad that we will not be with our grown children, friends and family, but it is not worth the risk to any of us. We will have a nice dinner, and if weather permits, we’ll have an outdoor fire  while reading either David Baldacci’s or John Grisham’s latest novels (one of my favorite things to do!)

outdoor fire to calm stress

I have had many opportunities in my lifetime to learn about dealing with hard times. As I write this, I’m hearing the song “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” in my internal jukebox! Yes, we can certainly grow and learn about dealing with hard times. I follow the Zen proverb “Fall down seven times, get up eight.”

How to Overcome Difficult times

I’m hearing from so many people “I am feeling all of this.” Friends, these “all over the place” feelings are natural given all that we are trying to process/deal with in 2020. Please don’t judge yourself for feeling flaky, having trouble focusing, feeling more tired that usual.  These are all natural reactions to your brain having to work 10x harder. There are ways to build resilience and stay stress-free.

Rather than focusing on the losses, I am trying to prop myself up and focus on living for today. In my book “Goodbye Anxiety, Hello Freedom,” I have a technique “What’s right, right now?”

What’s right, right now for me is that I am so grateful that we are healthy, we have a nice home, plenty of food…so many do not.

What’s right, right now for you?

Maria Shriver, in her Sunday Paper shared her version of recovery meetings “Just for Today” prayer:

” Stop worrying about a day that hasn’t even happened yet, she said. Focus on today, then get to tomorrow and do it all over again.”

“Just for today, I’m going to focus on the fact that I’m still going to have Thanksgiving dinner. I’m not going to think about the way it used to be. I’m going to focus instead on what it can be.”

Just for today, what can you focus on?

Download 5 of the 35 techniques from my book “Goodbye Anxiety, Hello Freedom” free!


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