The logo for stephenie dalfonzo.

How stress and anxiety shape our online personas

Facebook
Twitter
Share
Pinterest
Email
woman dealing with stress and anxiety

How stress and anxiety shape our online personas

I posted on social media how grateful I was that so many people reached out to wish me a Happy Birthday since my son ignored me. I’m so glad I did!  One reply: “Your courage to share is inspiring and encouraging to me. I acknowledge your wisdom to let your son be and focus on the many who love and support you."

This is exactly why I shared that post.  The pressures of keeping up with the “highlight reels” on social media are driving our stress and anxiety levels through the roof – especially with our children and young adults. I want to inspire and give others permission to share their hurts as well as their highs.

I specialize in helping people overcome anxiety, and yet I would be doing a disservice if I just held myself up as someone who doesn’t experience the lows as well as the highs in life. Experiencing stress, anxiety, loss, grief and more are all part of the human condition.  I think we all can agree that we cannot control what goes on around us.  However, we can choose whether we react or respond.

My son ignoring me hurt me very deeply and gave me the opportunity to curl up in the corner crying or to acknowledge the hurt I was feeling and then choose to respond. (We ended up going to see “Green Book” and laughing – a lot!)

Our children and young adults have been raised in an environment where mainstream and social media  highlight  “perfect people”, setting impossible standards to try to meet. In a recent  Thrive Global podcast,  Katie Couric recently shared, “We have to figure out how we can use social media to foster community, instead of just to make people feel anxious and uncertain and bad about themselves.”

We can start by modeling it for them, as I did.  According to Couric, “Anxiety has surpassed depression in this country” and “The suicide rate among young girls has tripled, I believe, between 10 and 14. And you have to imagine that social media is a big factor.” The Kardashians, and others like them, are only showing their “highlights” after a whole team has spent hours perfecting their hair, makeup and wardrobe. How can young girls feel ok about themselves when it’s impossible for them to measure up?!

The stress and anxiety of “Keeping Up With The Kardashians”

This was fueled even more in an episode where Kim and Kendall shared about their anxiety. Unfortunately, by the end of the episode, it appeared that everything was great again and all it took was one therapy session! I’m sure this added even more stress and anxiety to young viewers who struggle on a daily basis. Many feel compelled to take many multiple selfies to find the “perfect” one that will get them the most likes and comments.

Conversely, I love that “This is Us” is keeping it real and honestly portraying struggling with anxiety and depression. Watching Randall experience a panic attack and struggle with anxiety, Kate's struggle with food, Kevin's struggle with addiction and Toby's struggle with depression gives us a look at real life, not just the "highlight" reel. It gives us permission to acknowledge our struggles and worries and not have to live up to unrealistic expectations of "being cured" in one session.

How do we start to turn down the pressure of “perfection” on social media? It’s a huge problem and may seem overwhelming. Many times, when we feel overwhelmed, we shut down. The best way to overcome that is to chunk it down to the smallest, easiest next step.

My contribution was acknowledging, openly and honestly, about a very personal hurt. I want to inspire and give others permission to do the same. Perhaps if if we collectively do this more and more, we can foster the sense of community that Ms. Couric mentioned. Are you willing to begin sharing your “real” life on social media instead of your “reel” life? 

Get five free techniques to help you start calming your stress and anxiety.

Facebook
Twitter
Share
Pinterest
Email

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

NOW AVAILABLE ON AMAZON!

Recent Posts

What Other's Are Saying...

Overcoming Numbing Anxiety and Fear…

I was having a really rough summer, which led to numbing anxiety and plain fear. I woke up in the middle of the...
Stephanie Dalfonzo
2019-04-05T13:04:14+00:00

Jamie Siv Rognstad

I was having a really rough summer, which led to numbing anxiety and plain fear. I woke up in the middle of the night, unable to go back to sleep because my heart was pounding and it was hard to breathe. I had a lot on my plate, fun things, but was incapable of starting anything, so I turned to Stephanie for help. After just ONE session, things changed dramatically, and since then I have launched my program and am sleeping at night again. And the best thing of all, I get to do all the fun stuff!

My PTSD Is Gone

I had a serious car accident when I was 17 which landed me in the hospital and unable to walk...
Stephanie Dalfonzo
2019-04-05T13:11:32+00:00

T.G., NYC

I had a serious car accident when I was 17 which landed me in the hospital and unable to walk or go to school for several months afterward. I had recurrent dreams and moments of reliving the crash for months. Fast forward 38 years, and I had another car accident a few weeks ago. I was shocked to find that same crash recurrence happening again, and creating a lot of anxiety when I drove. Knowing Stephanie's talents, I immediately contacted her and set up a session. What I loved is that she didn't go back and make me relive the crash again but knew that there might be a different cause for the PTSD. Sure enough, we discovered it and healed it. I can't tell you the difference since our session. Not once recurrence, and while I'm still a little nervous driving (which isn't a bad thing) I have the whole thing in perspective, and that out of the blue PTSD is gone! Thanks so much, Stephanie. Your gifts are amazing and appreciated!

Success Is Exponential With Stephanie

If you are thinking that you don’t really need Stephanie . . . you’re wrong!!! I am here to tell...
Stephanie Dalfonzo
2019-04-05T13:12:46+00:00

Elly Kukk

If you are thinking that you don’t really need Stephanie . . . you’re wrong!!! I am here to tell you that you don’t even understand how much she can really help you. Success is exponential with Stephanie. I am now doing things in my business that I have wanted to do for years!! Thanks to Stephanie! The best way I can describe it in a “nutshell” is that she creates a safe space that allows you to release the old stuff that doesn’t serve you anymore. Then she helps you replace it with the things you want and the patterns and thoughts that help you get it. She has the expertise, experience, professionalism and drive to make her one of the best intuitive life coaches I have ever had! She has so many tools to use to help you succeed – from the unconscious to “nuts and bolts” – you’ll get it all. Then she has the methods to motivate and keep you on task. Most importantly for me is that she is intuitive so she can really tap into to what I personally need and want. She is worth the investment! I highly recommend her!!

Booked $20,000 Worth Of New Business…

Working with Stephanie has been life changing. She has helped me to release blockages that I didn’t even realize were...
Stephanie Dalfonzo
2019-04-05T13:25:45+00:00

Vanessa Judelman

Working with Stephanie has been life changing. She has helped me to release blockages that I didn’t even realize were holding me back from achieving the business success that I truly desire. After working with Stephanie for less than two months, the magic started to happen in my business. “Out of the blue” two ideal clients called me and I booked $20,000 worth of new business just like that! I have moved from anxiety and struggle to ease and faith. Thank you a million times over Stephanie. Your patience, guidance and unique talent have had a huge impact on my life and business.

Now I don’t start the day with the world issues crashing down on me

I started to work with Stephanie when I thought I could not fit one more thing into my life. I...
Stephanie Dalfonzo
2019-04-05T17:51:34+00:00
I started to work with Stephanie when I thought I could not fit one more thing into my life. I am so happy to admit that I was wrong and I am so grateful that I got to work with a passionate, compassionate and enthusiastic woman such as Stephanie. I have started a new biz about bringing more peace and love into the world, I work as an artist and writer and you would think I had time for self-care. I kept forgetting me every day. Stephanie helped me to reintroduce myself to myself and find the time to just be and breathe and know that the answers do show up. Now I don't start the day with the world issues crashing down on me. I take the time to meditate, breathe, ask questions and give myself the most positive pep talks I can give myself. Working with Stephanie was like working with a dear friend who has all the answers, but her humanity and kindness really resonated with me. I can't thank Stephanie enough for her willingness to help me see my gifts and that I will not just walk thru my life; I will run thru it with my dreams intact and a really good pair of sneakers!
0
0
Stephanie Dalfonzo